:)

The weather outside is rather pleasant.
Its perfect really.
and I am content.
I feel like I can accomplish something.
For real...give me a challenge.
I can handle it.
I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow.
I'm not sure it can even compete with my mindset today.
But you know what.
There is life here.
And tomorrow doesn't matter...its not important.
I'm embracing today and right now.
For the first time ever.
I love my life.
And I love living it.
And that is enough for me.
I feel infinite.

You and me.

You completely consume me...
And I love you.
But after all the trouble I caused for you.
Are your promises still true??
Do you still think of me??
I would do anything to have you here with me.
But it will never happen.
I will never have my chance.
Our perfect plans will never play out.
And its all because of me.
Because I decided to do what I knew was wrong.
It's because I felt too guilty to keep it to myself.
I just had to confess to someone.
And that someone was rather alarmed.
I was so stupid.
If I could of only shut my mouth...
I could still feel like I was part of you.
Like I meant something to you.
Like I used to.
We should have waited.
Until it was right.
The right time under the right circumstances.
But I just had to rush.
And now...
I'm in a world of pain.
I can't even communicate with you.
And at this point..
I'm desperate for you.
You frequent my mind a lot more than you should.
It's been so long...Why can't I just forget??
But you just have to be..
Every errant thought in my mind.
I can't stand this anymore.
I am so sick of being looked down upon because of how I chose to express what i felt...what i feel.
It's not just between you and me anymore.
And now..
I feel like nothing.
Nothing to you.
Nothing to the world.
At least in the moments I shared with you....
I felt like something..
to you.

A Team of Three

I wish i could revisit those days. I desperately hope that someday I can catch a glimpse of how things used to be.

Forsaken

It seems being alone has become a permanent setting.
A lifestyle.

I hate it.

I feel like dying.

I long to embrace loneliness.
To be strong.
Be the light.
Not be touched by the darkness.

But I know my abilities fall short.
I will never be like that.

For so long I've endured this.
The hope of a brighter day
My only motivation.

To be inspired by life.
I yearn for that kind of satisfaction.

But to ache for death...

It wasn't supposed to be like this.
This feeble excuse for living.

But it is like this.
Regardless my craving for something else.

I still have to trudge through life.